Back to school! Do I really have to go?

Back in April, shortly after I had the baby I though I would be ready to go back to work in 4 months. That's a third of a year! At the time that seemed like a long time, longer than what everyone else gets for maternity leave. So why can't I be happy with the long 4 months I had with my baby!?! Why is leaving my baby at the daycare so hard? My baby is a third of a year old! That's old enough to go to Daycare. I had to take Jett to daycare when he was 3 months old and he survived!
I don't want to work this year. I don't want to be away from my baby! I don't love my job this year! Okay, I don't "hate my job" but I don't love it! I'm sure I would if I didn't have a new baby that I would rather be with. I'm sorry but my baby comes before my students!
So, now I ask myself, "Stacey, why didn't you figure this out 4 months ago, before you signed your contract?"
I know we cannot afford for me to stay home! Well, maybe we could make ends meet and it would be tight, if we didn't send the boys to a private christian school! Life decisions like this are such a give and take!
So, she goes to daycare! Midway through the summer I called 24 day cares, I interview 4 of them, and made several visits, even unannounced! I finally decided on the larger center type daycare! I just felt it was the right place for Tenley.
So, is Tenley were she's supposed to be? Is this God's plan? I'm doubting it all right now! I almost feel sick about leaving Tenley at this daycare and I know the fact that she was only there 2 days and then got VERY sick isn't helping my doubt!
I don't know what to do other than push my sad feelings of leaving her to the side, toughen up and PRAY!
AND pray some more because I'm pretty sure my only support right now is coming from God!

Is summer really over???

WHERE DID IT GO??? Where did my summer go? AND where have I been!??? not on my blog that's for sure! I guess you could say I took a little blogging break! Don't ask me why because I've had plenty of time but I guess I just wasn't into it! BUT, now I'm back!!!

AND now summer is about over!
The boys and I will now brainstorm for you all of our previous summer activities,,, here goes,,,

*weekend in Burke last part of May
*Swimming lessons x2
*A 5 night trip to Cheyenne and Wellington,CO in June to see Cheyenne friends and the French family
*waterpark x3
*Jett went to grandmas to play with the chickens while Otto got in trouble at Aunt San's
*mommy's "cousins weekend" 3 families stayed with us, we went to Rapid- Story Book Island
*the culverts at the creek x2
*The 4th of July Belle Fourche Parade (Brrrr,,, got rained on!!)
*movie nights at home x2o or so
*rode the 4-wheeler and went with dad on his new 4-wheeler
*went to Hills Alive, enjoyed the concerts from the back with sissy and took boys on kyaks
*playing with babysister and making her laugh x200, give or take 50
*playdates with the neighbor kids x 15
*bike riding at the park
*painted our living room, kitchen and sissy's room
*cousins Audri and Whitney came to stay a week, on two different occasions
*water skiing @ Keyhole with Trevor Hill
*camping at Iron Creek Lake in a cabin with Dad and Sissy, 2 nights for dad's birthday
* hosted the"Summer's Over" neighborhood picnic