It has been a long 5 weeks! I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water. I wish I could say everything is going so well that I am loving my job again but not so true.
However, God is showing me I will survive and he is in total control... I just need to sit back and deal with this life he's given me. I am working on not being selfish! I have to tell myself, I can't just quit working to stay home with my baby just because I WANT TO! So here's what God's doing....
After the first few rough weeks of Tenley at a daycare that just wasn't settling with me, we finally found the answer to my prayers. I have to wonder why I didn't call Jayne when I got her number, from a friend, the week before school. I guess I figured we already had a daycare and I thought it would work. When it wasn't "working" I asked around wanting to use word of mouth to find a better daycare situation for Tenley. In the meantime, I was taking afternoons off for almost 2 weeks to take Tenley home to feed her and let her get a good nap!
During this time I had a few leads but they both fell through. Then I had another situation, a friend whom I really trust, offer to keep Tenley. I really didn't know what to do,,, feeling unsettled about making a decision I prayed!! I finally started to really put my trust in the Lord and give this up to him. I quit worrying and took a leap of faith and gave my two weeks notice at the BIG nasty daycare and that very same day, Jayne's number fell into my hands once again!! We talked for 5o minutes and agreed to meet because we both thought the other was the answer to our prayers! (Yes, I do believe God brought us together!) Jayne is an almost 60 year old grandma who quit her job of 25 years at the bank to stay home and watch "teachers kids!" She only watches one other little boy, (15 months old) and her 3 year old grandson 2 afternoons a week. She was praying about wanting one more to watch, preferably a baby! I was praying for a grandma that would love my baby girl like her own grand daugther and be able to give her the attention she deserves,,, without a bus load of other kids running around, trompling on her. So far, Tenley spent 4 days with Jayne and I think it went great! I am very pleased with the new daycare situation God has worked out for us. I pray we can all continue to bond and Jayne and Tenley can continue to "fall in love!" The ONLY bad thing is that she lives all the way across town but I know she is worth the drive. Oh, wait, there is one other bummer thing,,, I still miss my baby girl like crazy!!! I don't get to see her/feed her at lunch, which I did when she was at the old daycare center! BUT, I know,,, I know. This is all God's plan and I have to learn to give, stop being selfish and just be thankful we now have Jayne!